You see, around this time last year, I found myself in a behavioral health center, also known as a mental health clinic. The events leading to this feel completely unreal now. At first, I began thinking rapidly, too fast for my brain to process. I soon found myself in an uncontrollable full-blown manic episode. I was having illusions of grandeur, thinking God was speaking to me… I mean, real crazy shit. From all of this, I can remember Blizzard by my side, freaked out because I was not calm, yet she was still there allowing me to pet her. I remember sitting in my room, reading Cherrie Moraga’s “This Bridge Called My Back: Writings by Radical Women of Color” and thinking to myself that I had completely gone insane. Feeling incredibly schizophrenic, I would come out of the room only to yell at my family, and then retreat once again to finish reading Moraga’s work. Throughout the entire episode, I found myself turning to my loyal companion, Blizzard. She stood by my side as I cried and screamed. Her presence soothed me. The fact that another being depended on me for survival created a sense of urgency in me that forced me back into the real world. However, it was not so easy to face reality again. Without the help of Blizzard, I am sure it would have been much harder.
In the hospital, I was confused and disillusioned. The only thing I could focus on was my puppy. I remember freaking out and being paranoid, but when I thought of Blizzard, I was able to calm myself down.
Is it silly to say that she saved my life?
After 3 stints in mental hospitals, totaling about 46 days, I was happy to come home to my family and especially my puppy dog. Confused, my family did not know what to do when I came home from the hospital. I had been diagnosed with bi-polar type I. I have many thought on my hospital stay and my diagnosis, but that calls for another blog.
In all honesty, I cannot say how much Blizzard means to me. She was there when I was sane, and most importantly, she was there when I was insane. She helped me find my reality again and made me realize the importance of love.
She sleeps with me every night, wakes me up with her wet kisses every morning and I cannot imagine a better companion. With her by my side, I feel I can take on the world.
